flvsocean
contestada

Hi there!! Can someone please check my work :D

Question :
In this lesson, we have focused on using strong and interesting word choices, combining short phrases to achieve complex sentences, and using subordinate conjunctions and absolute phrases. Use these tools to help you write a descriptive paragraph of three to five sentences for the following situation. Use proper spelling and grammar.
Situation - Reading a book

Answer:
It was a dark and dreary day outside and there was nothing to do because the rain would not stop falling. I wandered around the house aimlessly until I found myself in front of the book shelf. I grabbed the first book I saw, and thought, "At least this'll give me something to do. It was a book about a girl who lived in India, I have never been to India, so it was very interesting to read. Hours went by, and soon my mother called to me and asked,
"Claire, the sun is out, would you like to go out and play?"
I then replied, "No, I would much rather sit here and read my book."

Is there anything I need to change?

Respuesta :

Dotz

Here is an edited version of your initial answer (it was still great):

It was a murky and dreary day outside with nothing to do since the rain wouldn’t stop pouring down. Wandering around the monotonous house aimlessly, I suddenly found myself in front of the antique book shelf. I snatched at the first book I glimpsed at and thought, “At least this’ll give me something to do.” The book discussed the life of a girl who lived in India which I’ve never even stepped a foot in. Therefore, it was very exciting and adventurous to read. Hours went by and soon my mother shrieked, “Claire, the sun it out, would you like to go out and play?” I then responded, “No, I would much rather take the weight off my feet and read my book.”


Let me know if you need anything else. 

                 - Dotz