Re-Write Please And Don't Use A ery High Vocabulary ( I'm An Idiot )


Story 1





Focus: the focus in the first passage is about how he came to be in time everything he went through stating his full name birth date and birthplace also the dates of everything that had happened in his life



Amount of detail: the amount of detail is of an outsider looking in only stating what was already been said and detail was more dry than and auto-bio would have been because the person writing about it wasn't the person who experienced these things and didn't hear the exact words that were said at certain moments



use of language: this type of language sounds more like their trying to tell you do not show you what happened so you can't really imagen what happened at those certain events unless you did your own deep research



tone: this tone was rather professional and informative than anything like i said before They were telling you rather than showing you what happened



Message: the message was how successful Ben was in all the events that occurred



Story 2





Focus: the focus was more on his life and how he felt and how he felt time was passing



Amount of detail: the amount of detail helped you imagine more of everything the amount of detail was very good here and helped you see what was going on less dry than the Bio



Use of language: At this aspect you can see that he took time to write his life out with consideration and his use of language here was very smooth and flowed very nicely together



Tone: his tone was more relaxed as he was trying to inform you as much as possible telling you his hopes and dreams growing up the things people said to him and turning points



Message: the message here was clear and inspiring he tells you how much better his imagination and life has gotten better all because he read and read he even got smarter and became a product of inspiration himself like he had hoped all his life



Respuesta :

Story 1

Focus: it’s about how he came to be, stating his full name, birth date, and birthplace. Also, the dates about everything that happened to him throughout his life.

Amount of detail: states what was already been said, the detail was drier and simpler because it wasn’t the person who experienced this things, and who also didn’t hear the exact words that were said at the moment.

Use of language: doesn’t tell you what happened, you have to do your own research.

Tone: It was professional and informative, they told you instead of showing you.

Message: How successful Ben was in in all the events that occurred.


Story 2

Focus: about his life, how he felt as time was passing.

Amount of detail: the amount of detail let’s you imagine the scene. It was less dry than the bio.

Use of language: You can see he took the time to write about his life with consideration, using very smooth language that flowed together.

Tone: the tone was more relaxed, trying to inform the reader about his dreams and the things people told him as he was growing up.

Message: the message was clear and inspiring, tells you how his life and imagination grew as he read throughout his life. He became the product of inspiration he always dreamed of.