shuteenlemery44
contestada

Please help i have posted this question 3 times' and no one ahs answered it please 50 points please help I really don't understand can you please revise my paragraph and make it have no passive voice and change the Syntax (sentence structure).

In the beginning, it all began with Ralph Baer in 1967 in Nashua, NH. In 1966, while working for Sanders Associates Inc., engineer Ralph Baer began to investigate how to play games on TV. And as a result of his investigations Brown Box was created. According to the G-Phoria Legend Award, “Baer is considered "the Father of Video Games due to his many contributions to games and helping to spark the video game industry in the latter half of the 20th century”. Little did we know this great invention would be in everyone's life today.

4/5 Coherence

5/15 Syntax (sentence structure) - highlight the changes made to the syntax

5/10 Voice (no passive voice) - highlight the changes made to the voice

5/15 Reflection Paragraph --Describe the specific revisions you made regarding SYNTAX and VOICE to demonstrate your understanding of those concepts.

Explain how your changes improved the paragraph.

Respuesta :

wangalores
Omit “In the beginning”, simply write “It all began with...”
- There is a repetition of the idea of beginning

Change the sentence structure: Engineer Ralph Baer began to investigate how to play games on TV while working for Sanders Associates Inc.
- Passive to active voice

Omit “And” and the repetition of the investigations: As a result, Brown Box was created.
- Syntax as well as sentence structure

Add a comma after “Little did we know”: Little did we know, this great invention would be in everyone’s life today.
- Syntax

I’m also a student and I doubt I’ve learnt these so I can’t be sure if these are correct, but I hope these were at least useful.

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