Look at the following short outline for an explanatory essay. How would you improve it?

Claim: The Aztec Empire achieved greater developments in government, society, and culture than the Inca Empire.

I. Introduction
II. Aztec Empire
A. Political Developments
B. Social Developments
C. Cultural Developments
III. Conclusion

A.Use more colorful language.
B.Have the conclusion immediately following the introduction
C.Introduce new arguments in the conclusion.
D.Add a section about the Inca Empire.