Write an email that begins with these lines:
I'm really sorry I didn't show up at your party, but it's not my fault.

What happened? Explain yourself, using all of these words at least once each:

"their," "there," and "they're"

"you're" and "your"

"it's" and "its"

"to," "too," and "two"

Try to invent the most creative excuse possible for not showing up! Write at least 75 words.

I'm really sorry I didn't show up at your party, but it's not my fault. In all honesty I tried my hardest to attend your party but there were too many things preventing me. It's a long story. My grandmother tragically died two weeks ago and we quickly prepared her funeral for her and we all attended, but it was only earlier this morning that we went to the reading of the will. My grandma has quite a fortune and so there was lots of speculation as to who her fortune would go to. As we arrived there I realized that all my relatives had attended, even those who hadn't even bothered to attend my grandmother's funeral. Lots of them looked arrogant and cocky and stated that the fortune was going to be theirs. Honestly they're all money-crazed psychopaths none of them even felt any remorse at my grandmothers death, its absolutely crazy how cold and uncaring some people can be. We were all sat on the edge of our seats in anxiousness to see who would get the fortune. The man reading the will looked nervous and sweaty, his hands and bald head were sweating profoundly as he announced that the fortune all be donated to charity. we were all shocked and some of my relatives started cursing my grandmother beneath their breathes. my plan after this was to leave and then later on attend your party, but i shaking in rage with hearing what one of my relatives had called my grandma. I immediately went up to him and grabbed him by the collar and and bellowed "You're a piece of trash! How dare you insult my grandmother! HOW DARE YOU!" He gave me the dirtiest look, swore at me and then threw a punch. His knuckles slammed across my face. That was the last straw, I launched myself at him and threw multiple punches. He ducked and threw a punch at my stomach. The compact blew all the air out of my lungs. At that point I was sick of him and swung a punch at his face exerting all my body's power behind it. There was a loud cracking sound and he bellowed in pain. His nose was bent and bleeding and at that moment police came in and dragged us both away. It turned out that whilst we were fighting, one of my relatives had called the police. we were both taken to the nearest police station to explain what happened. At the police station he glared at me angrily , but i paid him no attention. I simply gave my explanation of what happened and left the room without giving him a second glance. Fortunately I was let out of the police station as i had fought him out of defence and as technically he had thrown the first punch, but by then it was too late to attend your party.