i am practising for my creative writing. please give honest opinion and how to improve it.
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I am an astronaut. Softly, my surroundings felt soundless, and my hands and legs would not encompass my head to stop trembling. The only thing I heard was my deafening heartbeat. I walked onto this land filled with lost beauty but now found. I walked: staring at the arcane soft, phantom mellow clouds, wrapping and veiling the whole of space before my eyes. I perceived myself as this small thing walking on a path. On one side: Asaulted, overflowing with mountains colored in black chalky scrapes, the atmosphere tinted black. The air on that side seemed toxic and polluted, and the trees were bent like crooked o.d, emaciat;d people as if paralyzed, and the branches of the tree looked like wooded carved manikins with long arms stretching like arms with green leaves scattered around. However, on the other side: peace was in the blue sky. The trees all touching, holding hands entirely: connecting with the mountains and the roots reaching down to the soil.

I was what was separating it all. When becoming an Astronaut, I pledged to myself. To learn to keep sane while going through this. I am the one that separates the affliction and conflict from the world I want to be in; I felt as if I was protecting the peace from this parallel world.