Hello!!
Your first paragraph is clear and well-worded. However, there are some punctuation mistakes that should be fixed (run-ons, missing commas or periods, etc.)
The first sentence is a bit of a run-on and can be changed into two sentences:
"Being exposed to necessary labor can be very detrimental and affect you in many different ways. Some books that are related to this topic are "Iqbal" by Francesco D'Amamo and "Buried Onions" by Gary Soto." (For example)
Your second sentence can also be slightly modified to make more sense to your reader.
For example: For those who aren't informed on the book Iqbal: (continue your explanation on the topic of the book).
In the next sentence, it would be clearer to write "who are forced to work..." after the characters' names rather than "they're forced to work..."
You should add a comma after "unlike the other labor workers" to add a necessary pause in the sentence. You can also end the sentence sooner, perhaps putting a period after "to tell others." You can then begin a new sentence to finish your point: "Unfortunately, he was later despised after this." (For example.)
You could additionally add a comma after the name "Eddie". In addition, you could replace the word "where" with "when" later in the same sentence.
Lastly, you should add a period after "to try to live on his own" and begin the next part as a new sentence.
What I have listed are simply some small things that I have noticed. Otherwise, your writing is clear and well-developed! You have written it so that the reader can easily follow your writing.
I hope these tips have helped you! Feel free to comment or PM me if you have any additional questions! Have a great day!
