Respuesta :
Answer:
The objective provided is a bit vague. For instance it states “a position,” but it could be made more specific by at least stating what type of position. If applying for a management position, be sure to say so. Too, “polish my skills” does not really tell readers anything. What exactly is meant by “polish”? It is a bit too informal and an idiom. If you have a proven track record for success, be sure to specifically state that success. For example, you might include the length of time you’ve seen success and improved employee productivity. Lastly, to “explore new opportunities,” again, is not specific enough; do you mean job opportunities, professional development opportunities? One possible revision might resemble the following:
To obtain an upper management position and put 5+ years of successful employee guidance to work for a Fortune 500 company.
Explanation: just did it on edge