PLEASE CHECK MY PERSONAL ESSAY! IS IT GOOD?? I NEED OPINIONS! BEFORE I TURN IT IN I NEED YOUR OPINIONS THANK YOU!

When I was two years old I remember watching the NBA Finals on TV. The Los Angeles Lakers were playing against the Philadelphia 76ers. I was captivated by watching Kobe Bryant, Shaq O’Neal, and Allen Iverson battling each other for the championship. The history of the Lakers were chasing history had a record of 15-1 in the playoffs. Even as a young child I knew the significance of the game, the individual player was that intrigued myself was Kobe Bryant taking over the rest series right after they’re rivals the 76ers taking game 1. Honestly it looked like fun thing to do it made me want to play like them.
At the age of 4 years old I went to the park to play basketball with a cousin of mine which we were the same age. While we were playing shooting hoops I still had the thoughts of being like Kobe Bryant. I envisioned myself shooting the fadeaway saying to myself ‘’nothing but net’’. I was dribbling gracefully working on my crossover, basketball skills, making moves against imaginary defenders in my head. It sunny that day which made me want to play all day long. I and my cousin were playing basketball till it was 8:00 in the evening. Time had passed because I’ve been enjoying myself shooting from everywhere. While I and my cousin were walking home I had been thinking I want to come back and play as soon as possible! Over the years I continued to play and practice as often as I could. As I got older I developed a strategy and a new aspect of how I was going to compete; that meant playing on a team 5 on 5 full courts.
When I was in 4th grade, school allowed having a more structured schedule. I would wake up in the morning get ready brushed my teeth put on my clothes and ride the bus to school. When I got to school I would get ready for class, and day dream myself playing basketball. The bell would ring I’d sit through class and the bell would ring again and get ready for the next subject. This pattern continued through the morning and the same routine, but what I looked forward most was recess! Outside at recess kids would play all sorts games, there was so much energy that everyone needed to breathe for air. There were kids splaying tag, some playing dodgeball, talking to each other. But the thing I always I wanted to do was to play basketball. Every day I would watch my friends playing basketball thinking I can joined them. The idea of playing on a team was beyond realistic! The school days went by the bells rang, and the same routine took place week after week. I would hear the teachers say ‘’ remember homework is due tomorrow’’ ‘’study for the quiz you have’’ etc. Even though I knew this was important and I never neglected to my responsibilities as a student, occasionally my mind would drift to basketball. Same days all I wanted to do was go to recess and play basketball. One day I’m in school and going through the normal routine. The bell rings and it signals ‘’ recess time’’!

Respuesta :

your essay is good very good
i loved your essay! it is not perfect but it is amazing! also make sure you dont say " i and my cousin...." you have to put the other person's name in front of your so it would be " my cousin and i..."