What is this person in this poem experiencing \ what is your take of what this person is going through?

you know, phisically I'm okay,
but mentally I am broken in every way,
I'm stuck in a open state,
where my mind just stays on replay,

seeing all the street lights shining down,
on the world I want to escape,
living life on the run,
cause I don't wanna stay in one place,

and I don't want to pretend I'm happy,
when tears are falling from my face,
and ''I love you'' is a true statement,
but misused in every way.

and I can't sleep for other reasons,
I always have you on my mind,
don't expect me to be happy,
when I'm alone and wasting time,

I'd be nicer but when I despise myself,
I judge every movement that I make,
and I'd love to live without feeling,
but my life is a mistaken every day.